Studies have confirmed that even at a gestational age of eight weeks, a strong connection already exists between a woman and her unborn baby. This is why your sensitivity to her loss, no matter the stage of the pregnancy, is essential. Healthcare professionals need to appreciate that a miscarriage is a real loss and, in most cases, the woman already feels love for and a bond with the baby being lost.
To further buttress this point, I want to share excerpts of my dairy written in the early weeks of my first pregnancy before it ended in miscarriage during the 9th week of gestation. These are my personal thoughts and feelings, written at the time as letters to my unborn child, shared for the very first time.
· At 5+6 weeks: “I’m so excited...it’s been a roller coaster ride of symptoms all week, but to be honest, I’m loving it!
· At 6+1 weeks: “I’ll be happy when we can feel you; even happier when we can hold you in our arms”
· At 6+3 weeks: “Tried...stuffing a sweater in my trousers to see what I’d look like with a bump. The sweater looked silly (lol)”
· At 7+4 weeks: “I think about you so much...you’re all I ever think of nowadays...I love you babe”.
· At 8+3 weeks: “How are you feeling in there?...I love you babe”.
· At 9+1 weeks: “I’ve booked an appointment for my first scan...Woohoo!!! What a great time to be alive, in love and expecting a baby...I’ll be seeing you in a week’s time. Stay healthy, perfect, beautiful”
· At 9+4 weeks: “This is the day that the pregnancy ended...I feel robbed, cheated, completely devastated...I don’t know why I can’t have you...I grieve for you and for my dreams that died with you”.
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